Invader Kyary

Well, the month of May (Did you catch that reference?) is upon us and Kyarypamyupamyu, the Harajuku fashion queen and resident weirdo of the J-pop industry has released another single! You heard me right! It's only May and already Kyary as released three singles this year! You guys think she's gonna reach five? Or even six? I heard she had just announced that she was releasing an album to boot. With the rapidfire rate that Kyary's been releasing singles, I wonder when she's gonna burn out... Because maybe then Perfume will finally- oh, sorry, you guys aren't supposed to know about my hidden agenda! Anyways, the latest Kyary single is called Invader Invader. I always knew that Kyarypamyupamyu would take over the world someday! Now I have proof! Seriously, I'm hoping there are some hardcore alien-themes on this single! I'll take alien abduction, strange lights in the sky, or little green men. Or all three. Anyways, I'd actually thought about reviewing the PV for Invader Invader because hey, it's a Kyary PV and it's bound to have stuff I can talk about in it. And even though the PV was released in HD (seriously, Warner Music, it was about time you got to doing that), I decided that I was going to review the single as a whole instead! I already have a bunch of summer PVs to look at this month, along with other material too! So guys, grab your tin foil hats and join me in reviewing the mindfuckery that always seems to accompany a Kyarypamyupamyu single!

Covers/Outfits

Well, you all know by now that your typical Kyarypamyupamyu single cover is going to look a little weird, a little creepy and very likely a strange kind of cute. I've personally never been a huge fan of the album work used on Kyary's single and album covers; it's a little too strange for me. I like it when a cover looks pretty! Like Perfume's Limited Edition cover for Spring of Life! Now that was an awesometacular single cover! But like every other single cover Kyary has released, the one for Invader Invader is... wait for it... wait for it... WEIRD! Oh man, who would have thought? I would have thought for sure these covers would be normal this time around! I will say though, the covers for Invader Invader aren't the weirdest I've seen; believe me, there's much weirder out there. The regular cover (featured at the top of this post) features, as you can tell, Kyarypamyupamyu, surrounded by what I presume can only be watermelon-headed aliens from a very fruity planet. According to Wikipedia (please don't shoot me for using it as a source), the concept of the cover for the regular edition was for Kyary to be surrounded by "otherwordly creatures" holding spheres of magic whilst Kyary poses amongst them. I will say, I do like the color scheme used in the regular edition! The colors are very bright and summer-y and the hair on the aliens posed around Kyary is pretty awesome. I just don't really like the backdrop; it looks like the floor of a 1970s gym class. I guess the minimal background does draw more attention towards Kyary but I think something different would have worked better. The limited edition features Kyary looking relatively normal and holding a smaller "fairy Kyary" posed on her upheld index finger. Yeah... I guess mini!Kyary is invading giant Kyary? I don't know but it's a fairly interesting cover as well. Overall, I think the covers to Invader Invader are fine; they definitely stand out and they're pretty original. But you know what I say! Never judge a song by its cover! So let's get to how the actual songs on Invader Invader hold up!

Invader Invader

All right, starting off the wacky single is what else? The title track! And I have to admit, the opening of Invader Invader didn't really grab me. It didn't sound bad or anything but I think it could have used a little more energy. And I wasn't a huge fan of Kyary's "Wow~ Wow~ Yeah~ Yeah~" bits after the first chorus either. Luckily, after that the song started to sound better as it built up more energy and the instrumentals got crazier and crazier. I think a big part of Invader Invader that appealed to me was the instrumental itself because there was so much going on in it. What I also liked about Invader Invader is that the lyrics are very easy to single along to, which is a blessing when your Japanese pronunciation is horrible. And the song is catchy too, but most Kyarypamyupamyu songs are, for better or worse. So yeah Invader Invader sounds pretty typical for a Kyary track until you hit the instrumental break after the second chorus. And then the song goes to strange places... strange places... of Dubstep. You heard me right, a Kyarypamyupamyu song has Dubstep in it. That's like me saying a Batman movie has Harry Potter in it! I really don't think I ever would have put Kyarypamyupamyu and Dubstep together... Sure, maybe Perfume or even MEG but Kyary? Seriously? Well anyways, Invader Invader has a Dubstep break and while it's not very long, it is a little, well... odd. I guess it doesn't sound bad per say but it definitely does kind of disrupt the tone and style of the rest of the song. It sounds like it was just kind of thrown in there because hey, Nakata really wanted to try some Dubstep on Kyary! Then it just ends and the song plays on. I guess the Dubstep break isn't very long which is nice and it is one of the aspects of Invader Invader that stands out the most... Still, if it wasn't included in the song, I don't think I would necessarily miss it. But for the most part, I liked Invader Invader; it had a catchy chorus that I could bob my head to and easily memorable lyrics too!

Now as for the PV for Invader Invader... do I really need to say much about it? If you've watched a Kyarypamyupamyu PV for, you're gonna go in watching this PV and kind of having an idea of what's going to happen in it. Something I've found with Kyary's PVs is that you can always expect them to have strange themes, weird imagery that seems irrelevant but probably has to do with the theme of the song, and often features some kind of quirky mascot that parties with Kyary. Tell me I'm wrong. Does Invader Invader's PV have strange themes? Check. Weird imagery? Check. Quirky mascot? Check! If you find yourself getting very easily tired of this music video formula, I'd recommend you skip the PV for Invader Invader. And Kyary's PVs in general... Anyways, I thought the PV for Invader Invader was okay. Clearly I didn't think it warranted a screencap but I do think it was a better PV than Ninjari Bang Bang. Less green screens. Although I do think that Invader Invader and Ninjari Bang Bang had about the same amount of budget. Yeah, Invader Invader has a pretty cheap PV. However, I'm not sure if the PV for Invader Invader is intentionally cheap or not. In a video where Kyary was talking about the PV, she explained that the PV was about a secret organization of aliens trying to take over the world but unfortunately, the aliens didn't have a lot of money so their secret hideout is very shoddy. I admit, it makes sense and even if the PV is cheap just because the producer didn't have a lot of money to spare on it, it's still an entertaining explanation for it. What bothered me about the PV was that the lighting was very dark; it's not like I couldn't see but the main set had a lot of details that I wish I could have seen more of. Anyways, overall, I don't think the PV for Invader Invader is terrible but (and I can't believe I'm saying this) it doesn't exactly stand out. It's just Kyary being herself (which is always entertaining) accompanied by backup dancers and a quirky mascot. But hey, if the formula works, why bother changing it?

I'm gonna give Invader Invader four out of five apples. If you're not a fan of Kyarypamyupamyu by now, then this song probably isn't gonna be the one to draw you into her music. Beyond the Dubstep break the song doesn't bring much new material to her discography but Invader Invader is still a nice-sounding song and as someone who's a casual fan of her music, I like it!

Point of view

So the B-side on Invader Invader served as a tie-in for the same company Invader Invader endorsed. And... yeah, I'm not a huge fan of Point of view. This song is way too cutesy for my tastes. The thing with Kyary's music is that it's always balancing on a line between tolerably cute and insufferably cute. And unfortunately, Point of view falls over the line into insufferably, I-feel-like-I'm-getting-cavities-from-the-sweetness cute. The instrumentals are much blander and minimal in this song than say, Fashion Monster of even Ninjari Bang Bang and the vocals are adorable. Irritably adorable. This actually sounds like an opening I'd hear to a children's show... maybe even Doraemon. In fact... I think Point of view could have been in the Doraemon movie! Yeah! Instead of Perfume getting saddled with a bland song, why not have Kyary already use the bland song on her Invader Invader single? Sound good? No? Ugh, maybe I'm still just frustrated over the Perfume and Doraemon collaboration... Anyways, there are a few little instrumental bits I do kind of enjoy in Point of view but for the most part, I think it's a pretty forgettable song. It's just way too... eh... kawaii for me. Blegh, I swore I'd never use that word in a review. But it's just a word that fits how Point of view sounds. Point of view's main lack of appeal for me is... wait for it... wait for it... the lack of energy! Surprise! I'll bet you never hear that criticism from me! But I do feel like if the energy was upped on Point of view and the instrumentals just had more... vibrancy in them, the song might be a little more tolerable. After all, a huge part of Kyary's appeal for me is how the instrumentals in her songs sound. What? Did you guys really think I was a fan of Kyarypamyupamyu for her mind-blowing, goddess-like voice? No. Point of view is definitely one of my lesser-liked B-sides. The song doesn't even have a good ending, it just stops playing really fast before you can even process the cutesyness you listened to.

As you may have gathered, Point of view isn't exactly a five-apples kind of song for me. I'll give it two and half out of five apples. I think if you're a fan of Kyary's cuter songs, Point of view will appeal to you but for me, it's too cute and too forgettable to stand out that much.

Fashion Monster -extended mix-

Ah, what a better song to get a mix than Fashion Monster? I have to admit, Fashion Monster has grown on me since I reviewed it way back in September. And personally, I could see it getting an extended mix; it's got the instrumental for it! However, I've always found Nakata's extended mixes to be pretty good but not really necessary. Sure, some of his mixes have been friggin' awesome (such as edge (-mix) or the JPN album mix of Glitter) but typically, the songs are already so good they don't really need a remix. I like Fashion Monster a lot so I was curious to hear just what was changed (or extended) in the extended mix. And after hearing the song... I can't hear much that was altered or remixed in the song. The vocals for the most part remain untouched; a lot of the big changes are unsurprisingly in the instrumentals. There's even some gratuitous Dubstep added in one of the several extended breaks in Fashion Monster -extended mix-! Luckily, it's not quite as gratuitous as the one in Invader Invader and it's much shorter too! I swear, has Nakata just been chilling with Skrillex lately? There a couple instrumental extensions and variations thrown into the extended mix of Fashion Monster but overall, the song is still pretty much the same. It took me a few listens to make put the differences between the original and the extended mix. So if I were to pick between the original Fashion Monster and the extended mix, I think I'd just stick with the original. The extended mix isn't by any means bad but it doesn't bring anything new to the table either save for some Dubstep anda couple extended bits of the instrumentl. What I like for a remix to do is enhance the original song and Fashion Monster -extended mix- doesn't really accomplish that very well. I wouldn't say the extended mix ruins Fashion Monster either but if you're looking for an enhanced mix, this is not it.

I'll give Fashion Monster -extended mix- three and a half apples out of five! Luckily for the mix, the original song is pretty solid so it's hard to really go that wrong with an extended mix. Still, I've heard better mixes before and I doubt Fashion Monster -extended mix- will be on heavy rotation in my music library.

The Verdict

I think Invader Invader as a single is quite the mixed bag. While I think the A-side is a pretty good song, the two B-sides garnered mixed opinions. Point of view, in my opinion, is a forgettable B-side; it's far too cute and far too unoriginal for me to really get into it. While I like the extended mix of Fashion monster, I could have done without it. The original was fine the way it is and the extended mix didn't really add much to it. If you're a fan of Kyary's style of music, then I think you'll like the Invader Invader just fine. However, I think if I were trying to get someone into Kyarypamyupamyu, Invader Invader wouldn't be the single that I would show them. No, I'd probably show them the video to PonPonPon. One the subject of that forever-infamous PV, I really wish people would stop comparing Kyary's current work to PonPonPon. She's never going to release another song like it and I wish people would just get over that. I don't know, it's just been nearly two years now and still I keep hearing complaints of "Well, this single isn't as good as PonPonPon." I know: it was a really good song and it'd be hard for any artist to top it. I almost wish Kyary hadn't released just so people would stop talking about it. Well, I'll get off my soap box now and get back to the Invader Invader single. Overall, I think this is an okay single. My one complain is I wish there were more aliens! Or at least more ethereal themes; I feel like Kyary and Nakata really could have gone crazy with more ethereal-type music and what a better style to do it with than on a single about aliens? Oh well, the single's out and I can't change what it's like.

I'll give Invader Invader three and half apples out of five. The single isn't the best overall single I'd heard from Kyarypamyupamyu but the A-side is an enjoyable listen. The B-side is pretty weak in my opinion and the extended mix of Fashion Monster is just okay. If you're a Kyary fan, I think you'll enjoy this single though. I mean, if for nothing else but the fact that it involves aliens!

Four Idol Blogs I Wish Were Still Around

The end of a blog is one of the more painful sides to being an idol blogger. But unfortunately, all good things come to an end. There are a lot of great things about idol blogging from the sheer exhilaration of writing reviews, to hearing others opinions, to even getting devoted readers whom you know will always read your posts. However, one of the more painful sides of being an idol blogger is knowing that very likely, you're going to end up dropping it sooner or later. I know, as much as we all hate to think about it, a lot of people aren't going to be running the idol blogs they love so dearly for the rest of their lives. It's completely natural; people grow out of things, phases go by, they lose enthusiasm, they find other endeavors to look into, there are a myriad of reasons why anyone can decide to stop blogging. And they're all perfectly reasonable and understandable. But it's still pretty depressing to think about when the day will come to stop blogging. And I think it's one of those subjects that no one really wants to acknowledge because frankly, it is a rather melancholic topic. Nobody wants to think about when they're going to stop blogging, especially during a time when the hobby is thoroughly enjoyable. Not even I like to think about when I'll stop running the Wonderland, especially now that I'm enjoying it so much. But even I can acknowledge that my own idol blogging experience isn't going to last forever and one day I'm going to end up in the archives and archives of idol blogs that have been left, never to be updated again. Ugh, even just writing that sentence makes me feel depressed. Again, in no way am I condemning anyone's decision to stop being an idol blogger; everyone has their own reasons for deciding to stop and all of those reasons are acceptable.

But damn, if there aren't a few blogs that I wish had stuck around.

I've been following idol blogs for a relatively long amount of time, a little over two years. And from 2011 to now, I've seen my fair share of blogs that have ceased updating. Some of them were already updated pretty sporadically in the first place, but then there were the idol bloggers that were so devoted and so skilled in what they wrote about that when I realized that they hadn't updated in awhile, I got a little sad inside. Of the many defunct, idol blogs, there are four in particular that I followed and that I loved so much, that I leave them on my blogroll despite the fact that none of them have updated in months. I guess I'm just hoping that one day one of those blogs will magically pop up at the top of my blogroll, indicating that finally, after all this time, this blog is still alive. But as each day goes by and each month slips past me, the more I realize the slim chances that any of these blogs are ever going to update again. However, I'm not writing this post so I can wistfully write about the past and put a giant rain cloud over anyone who reads this when I publish it! I'm writing this post to celebrate these four idol blogs because if they're not going to stick around, then they need a sendoff. And I'm gonna give it to each of these four bloggers because... I looked up to some of them and I want to show everyone else just how great they were. These four blogs don't deserve to fade into obscurity without anyone recognizing them for all the content and reviews they contributed into the idolsphere. I'm serious, I would highly recommend checking out all four of the blogs that I talk about in this very miniscule list. You don't even have to look for them because I inserted links into the headers for each entry! All it takes is one click to see just why I appreciated these blogs. Even though the posts on each blog are old, they're still good. So I invite you all to hop on a time travel fish with me to look back and admire these four idol blogs that deserve recognition.

Happy! Go! Lucky!

I actually think I've really started to appreciate Happy! Go! Lucky! just now because I've been getting into Momoiro Clover Z. Jess, the author of H!G!L! is a huge fan of MomoClo, to the level that I'm a huge fan of Perfume. She's reviewed a boatload of their stuff dating back to D'no Junjou. She reviewed a ton of their singles, their Battle and Romance album, and even did lyrics for several of their songs! If that's not a devoted fan, I don't know what is! I think the love Jess had for Momoiro Clover Z is a big part of what made her blog such a joy to read. I could tell that she really loved the group just by the way she wrote about them; her enthusiasm for MomoClo seemed to just shine in every post. Even though at the time she was active, I wasn't a fan of Momoiro Clover Z but I could still acknowledge the enthusiasm she had for the group. I almost wish that I had taken the time to read her MomoClo-related posts and not just focus on her H!P ones because I think if I had, there would have been a good chance that I'd be able to get into the group sooner. But recently, I've been going back through her archives and looking at her reviews of MomoClo's older singles that were pre-5th Dimension era. I also look at her review of Battle and Romance, and the positivity she just radiated in that review has pretty much convinced me that I need to listen to the album. My philosophy about idol blogging is not only to write what you know but also write what you love and Jess clearly loved Momoiro Clover Z. While I know that personally I won't love MomoClo as much as she did, her love for the group was contagious and the way she wrote about them, you could tell how much she loved them. Her blog posts were always very well-written too and easy to read!

Of course, Momoiro Clover Z wasn't the only group Jess reviewed; she was also a big Hello! Project fan! And amongst the sea of MomoClo-related posts, she also wrote a lot of reviews for H!P groups as well! In fact, the H!P reviews on Happy! Go! Lucky! were what made me start reading her blog in the first place. I got into Hello! Project around mid to late 2011 and Happy! Go! Lucky! opened in mid-2011 so her posts helped me get more into H!P along with a slew of other idol blogs. What I liked about Happy! Go! Lucky! was that Jess seemed very on top of things going on in the idolsphere and was always ready to write a news posts or whip out a review at such a fast rate. And the writing didn't feel sloppy or rushed; I loved Jess's writing. It was the kind of writing that could keep you interested because the voice of the writer felt so enthusiastic and positive. Even her more negative reviews were still enjoyable because hey, negative reviews are a guilty pleasure of mine! Whilst Jess didn't write too many editorials on Happy! Go! Lucky the ones she did write are definitely worth a read. What I really liked about Happy! Go! Lucky! was that I agreed with many of the same opinions Jess had and I could see where she was coming from in her reviews. While I love a good idol blog regardless if its opinions mirror my own or not, it is nice to read an idol blog with opinions and views similar to my own. It gives me a blog to relate to, you know? And in that aspect, Happy! Go! Lucky! was a very relatable idol blog for me and I wish it had stuck around for more than just a little over a year. I would have loved to see Happy! Go! Lucky! evolve and change over time and I'd love even more to hear Jess's take on some of the current events brewing in the idolsphere now. Who knows? The last post on Happy! Go! Lucky! was in September 2012 so maybe there's hope that this idol blog will update again!

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Aitakatta!/Macaroni-i

I'm putting these two blogs under one entry because they're both written by the same person and I miss them both. So I guess this post technically should have been titled, "Five Idol Blogs I Wish Were Still Around" but hey, the post is published and I don't feel like changing the title! I admit, I did kind of hesitate to put Aitakatta! down because Cat, the author of both blogs, did post something on it in March but since then, the blog has yet to be updated. From the looks of it, I don't think Cat has any intentions of putting anything else up on Aitakatta! any time soon either. And that's okay. Sad because Cat is a great writer but still okay. After all, she ran Aitakatta! for five years. That's the equivalent of ten in Internet time. Luckily, because Aitakatta! has been around for such a long time, that means there's a lot of older material you can peruse. And I mean it, in the five (more like four and half) years that Cat ran Aitakatta! she wrote a boatload of posts about who else? AKB48! Why else do you think the name of her blog shares the same name as the iconic AKB song. And AKB48 was pretty much the only idol group Cat wrote about. Sure, every now and then she'd mention H!P or another idol group, but for the most part, Cat blogged what she loved and that was AKB48. Something I always admired about Cat was how much she was devoted to AKB48 and blogging about them. You could just hear the passion and enthusiasm Cat held for the group in the many things she reviewed by them. I'm serious, she reviewed a myriad of material from them ranging from singles to PVs and even stage shows. You guys know how I'm a huge fan of Perfume and how I get really fangirlish over them a lot? That's how Cat was with AKB48 and just knowing how much she loved the group (to the point where when she needed to, she defended them) is what made Aitakatta! such a great blog to read.

And knowing how much Cat loved AKB48 is what makes the decline of Aitakatta! so sad.

Because you see, around mid-to-late 2011, Cat's enthusiasm for AKB48 began to wane. Ironically enough, that was around the time that I was finally getting into AKB48. Even more ironically, now I too am experiencing the same kind of frustration and disillisuionment I could vividly feel in Cat's own posts about it. And in these past few months, when I feel like every move AKB48's been making has irritated the tar out of me, I've been re-reading some of Cat's 2011 posts about her own conflicted emotions towards AKB48. And reading these posts made me realize how much I can relate to Cat and to how she feels towards AKB48. Whenever I read her criticism, I always find myself nodding my head and thinking, "Yeah, I totally get that! I can relate to this!" Still, it's sad to know that Cat doesn't have the passion and enthusiasm she did for AKB48 anymore. I mean, read one of her blog posts from 2009 and then her latest post. Don't the tones feel different? It made me realize that yes, as much as I don't want to think about it, something that I really love for one period of time could be something I lose interest in later, including idol groups. Luckily, my beloved Perfume seems to have withstood the test of time and disillusionment. Speaking of that lovely techno group, Cat is also a fan of Perfume! She talks about Perfume on Macaroni-i, her other blog which focuses on J-pop artists outside of AKB48. Unfortunately the time between now and her last blog post on Macaroni-i is even longer than the time of inactivity with Aitakatta! Macaroni-i hasn't been updated since 2011. But who knows? Maybe one of these days Cat will magically resurface and write another post on that blog! I'd love if there was another active blog that reviewed Perfume! Anyways, as sad as it is to know that Cat's flame for all things AKB48 has diminished, Aitakatta! still had a great run! And there a lot of great reviews you can leaf through in its very extensive archives so... go crazy!

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Sora to Kujira

One of the good things about this idol blog is that like Aitakatta! it was active for a few good years so there are 44 pages of archives you can browse through. Yes, from 2008 through 2012, Sora to Kujira was a very well-known idol blog and one of the first ones that I actively started reading. In the days when I was but a mere reader of idol blogs, Sora to Kujira was definitely one of the most entertaining blogs I read. And when I did finally decide to take up idol blogging, Sora to Kujira was one of the blogs that I looked up to alongside other blogs that (thankfully) are still active today! Why? Because it was such a well-written blog! The posts on Sora to Kujira were never terribly long but they always managed to get the point across and in a way that you never got bored when reading them! I think a big part of the appeal of Sora to Kujira was the humorous angle Jin, the author, approached his reviews and posts. I could always count on his writing to at least make me smile and sometimes even laugh! His use of clever titles alongside clever imagery in each post was what drew me in and made me want to read more. And he was hilarious; his posts ranged from insightful to tongue-in-cheek to even satirical at times and all of them were great reads. I remember always getting really excited when Jin updated because I knew that whatever he wrote would be just hilarious and informative at hte same time! The main aspects of idol music that Jin reviewed were all things Hello! Project, with AKB48 and then some K-pop. Obviously, I didn't read too many of his K-pop related posts but what I did read was excellent! Jin has a boatload of H!P single reviews dating all the way back to his first review of Berryz Koubou's Tsukiatteru no ni Kataomoi. But his review list went beyond just idols; there was also a nice handful of J-pop artists he reviewed as well, even a few that I recognize now!

Something that I always think is kind of cool about an idol blog with an expansive archive, is that there's just a lot of stuff you can dig around in. Not only that, but you can see the viewpoint someone might have had before certain events in the idol world happened like say, a graduation or member auditions or even the disbandment of a group. It's kind of like reading a story and knowing what's already going to happen to the characters but it's a lot more fun than that is! Something else that's really great about an older and longer-lasting idol blog is that you can see how it evolved over time. I think as the years went by, Sora to Kujira really came into its own as an enjoyable and well-liked idol blog, which makes its inactivity even more depressing. I miss reading Jin's snarky comments about the latest Morning Musume release or poking fun at one of the sillier aspects of the idol industry. The editorials on Sora to Kujira were always very different and very interesting to read. I always feel like Jin just had a lot of great ideas about what to write on his blog and he also had the skill to execute them too! If there was anyone I could count on to deliver a fresh and insightful opinion, it was Jin. And I think he really enjoyed idol blogging too; the way he approached his reviews and editorials just felt like he was thoroughly enjoying what he was doing. I really would have liked to know what Jin thinks of the electropop era Morning Musume is in right now, especially since his last post was a review of PyokoPyoko Ultra. And believe me, that review was effing hilarious but there's some other stuff he could review that I think would be just as hilarious. Still, Sora to Kujira hasn't been updated since January 2012 and from the looks of it, I don't think Jin is planning on updating any time soon. So while yes, I miss Sora to Kujira a lot, I also enjoyed it a lot when it was still active.

Recommended Posts:
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Idol love

Ah, Idol love. When this blog was still active, I effing loved it. Why? Because Idol love has got to be one of the most scathing, blunt and cynical idol blogs that I have ever read. No, it is the most scathing, blunt, and cynical idol blog I've ever read. And I mean that in the best and nicest way possible. Something I've noticed about idol blogging is that generally, we're all pretty positive idol bloggers. Sure, every now and then, we'll rant and rage about a certain group every now and then (such as I've been doing with AKB48) but for the most part, idol bloggers tend to write pretty nice posts regarding their idols. Idol love was not one of those blogs. Danielle, the author of Idol love, was one of those special idol bloggers who could be mean a hornet and I'd still read her latest posts with the excitement of a crack addict who just received his latest shipment. During the time when I was following idol blogs and not writing my own yet, Idol love stood our because many of the posts on it were just so harsh unlike much of the other writings I'd encountered in the blogsphere. And that was honestly very refreshing to read about. And I'm not saying that every single post Danielle wrote was negative (she has many positively worded posts too!) but those negative posts were what stood out to me. What I also loved about Idol love was that Danielle had such a voice when she wrote; you could hear the emotion and the passion that she put into everything she wrote. Even when I disagreed with Danielle's opinions (which believe me, happened a lot), I still couldn't stop reading her writing because she fleshed out and backed up her opinions so well. When it comes to idol blogging, I love reading a different opinion from my own if the blogger can back up said opinion and let me see and acknowledge their different angle on something I liked.

Danielle wrote mainly about J-pop and K-pop idols, especially AKB48 and Hello! Project. I didn't read too many of her K-pop posts but the ones I did read were still very well-written. Danielle was just one of those bloggers who could write posts about artists or subjects that I didn't know or care about and still catch my attention. She wrote a nice mix of reviews and editorials and news posts as well; in fact, Idol love is one of the most editorial-heavy blogs that I've come across. And the editorials are good; they're so well-written and all of them retain the crass voice that Danielle had. Sadly, Danielle hasn't written another blog post since September 2012 but part of me still hopes that by some miracle, she'll post another one of her highly entertaining, highly cynical blog posts again. Idol love was an idol blog that was so different from all the blogs I read today and I miss hearing Danielle's take on all the stuff brewing in the idolsphere. I also have to applaud the fact that Danielle had the nerve to write such biting, sharp-tongued posts and deal with the negative attention that was sometimes garnered from them. Writing negative posts is easy: publishing them is hard. Mainly because you can and probably will get a lot of shit from people who disagree and dislike your opinion. Idol love got a lot of shit which you can see if you scroll through the comments section of any of the blog's more opinionated posts. However, when someone slammed Danielle, she slammed them right back; she did what a lot of idol bloggers don't have the time and patience to do and fought with the many people who she pissed off on her blog. Hell, her replies in the comment sections are almost as entertaining as her blog posts. Daring, hilarious and never trying to sugarcoat opinions, Idol love was truly a standout blog that I so wish was still around today.

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Jess, Cat, Jin, Danielle, I don't know what any of you are doing now and I don't even know if any of you will read this. But if you do, I just want to say how much I appreciate all the devotion you four people put into contributing to the idolsphere. The blogs you ran were entertaining, insightful and informative and I enjoyed them while they lasted. And I hope that wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you're enjoying it. I wish you four all the best in whatever you pursue next, whether it be in the idolsphere or in a different field entirely. As an idol from any of the groups you guys reviewed would say: Ganbatte.

Magic of Perfume

Ah, the sweet smell of Perfume is wafting through the Wonderland as I blissfully play Magic of Love and revel in the fact that finally, a song has come from Perfume that doesn't split the fandom right down the middle.

You know what feels even better than liking a song? Knowing that a lot of other people in the same fandom you're in also like that song. Especially when said fandom is one that you interact with somewhat. Such is the case with Magic of Love. And okay, I know that not everyone is going to have the same consensus on each Perfume song and there's always both positive and negative opinions, but damn were Mirai no Museum and Spending all my time divisive songs. When those songs both came out, I felt like there were really strong opinions from both positive and negative angles from fans. Especially with Mirai no Museum; it seemed like a majority of fans didn't take very kindly to that song. Spending all my time slowly grew on some fans but it also generated a lot of backlash. Even I didn't like Spending all my time when it came out but it kind of grew on me and it's kind of an okay song... Shut up. Personally, I didn't mind Mirai no Museum and I think it's a pretty harmless song but even I acknowledged that it was one of the weaker A-sides from Perfume's discography. Honestly, I feel like even more people disliked Mirai no Museum than Spending all my time. Both songs will definitely never make it into my coveted top 20 Perfume songs to say the least. Anyways, what was most dismaying about SAMT and Mirai no Museum for me was that they were two consecutively divisive singles. Was it just a coincidence? Or was this the level of quality we were supposed to expect from Perfume now on? A series of singles that would continuously garner extremely mixed reactions? I hoped not but I was a little uneasy about how Perfume's next single would sound. Was it going to suck? That was my big question and I crossed my fingers and prayed that whatever Perfume released next just wouldn't be... well... a bad song. I wasn't even hoping for a good song, just a song that wouldn't be so incredibly divisive.

Well, I asked for a non-divisive song and so I received Magic of Love.

Magic of Love is a breath of fresh air in this era of Perfume singles and not for reasons that you'd think. Back in March when the single was first announced like with any Perfume single announcement, I was ecstatic. I was also pleasantly surprised that Perfume was releasing another single so quickly after Mirai no Museum. Then again, maybe that's just because I had to wait six months between the releases Spending all my time and Mirai no Museum and the payoff wasn't even that great. The shorter I have to wait for new Perfume material, the happier of a camper I am. At that time, it was also announced that Magic of Love was a tie-in for Japanese candy Kanro, a candy that I've been told is kind of like Sour Patch Kids but I've yet to actually taste it. Now the last tie-in Perfume did with this company was with Communication, the B-side to Spring of Life and a song that I am not a huge fan of. It's far too cutesy to be a Perfume song I can really get into but it's not terrible. I was a little worried that Magic of Love would be in the same style Communication was with simple lyrics that were blatantly about the product the song was advertising and a staccato, almost 8-bit melody. That and Magic of Love was a tie-in and considering Mirai no Museum, their last tie-in was so... well, divisive, I was a little nervous. Still, I kept my hopes up because it's Perfume and I always like to positive when it comes to my favorite J-pop group! Shortly after the announcement about Magic of Love, a CM for Kanro featuring a 15 second clip of the song was aired. From the 15 seconds I heard of the song way back in April, I was excited. For once, the latest Perfume single actually sounded really catchy and not-divisive. I actually thought Magic of Love kind of sounded like a MEG song when I first heard the snippet but that might have been because I was on a MEG binge at the time. I guess it could work as a MEG song...

Anyways, now the full song is out and thank god Magic of Love is a song that hasn't been garnering strong negative reactions. And personally, I couldn't be happier with how Magic of Love sounds. I think it's a great Perfume song and I think it's a great song for the summer too! Oddly enough, parts of Magic of Love sound like Voice, particularly the verses. And even though I'm not the hugest fan of Voice, I like the verses in Magic of Love! I like pretty much everything in Magic of Love! I think it's an energetic song that has some really great instrumentals and a chorus that just flows nicely. Something else I noticed about the verses is that the vocals are pretty raw; still edited but by Perfume standards, pretty raw. It's kind of funny because Nocchi's voice really stands out in the verses because her voice is so different from A-chan and Kashiyuka's.  What I really like about Magic of Love is that there's a lot going on in the instrumentals; it kind of reminds me of the instrumentals for Voice (again) but less subdued. I keep making a lot of Voice reference to Magic of Love but really the songs don't sound that much alike. After all, Magic of Love has a lot more energy! And if you guys know my blogger schtick by now, you know that I love when a song has energy! Magic of Love is the kind of song that's just so upbeat and pretty. It's a very JPN-era song with rawer vocals and a more natural melody but I think it works nicely! Now something to note about Magic of Love is that while I think it's a good Perfume song, it also brings nothing new to the table. It's not edge or 575 or Polyrhythm; what I'm trying to say is it's not a song that's not trying to be innovative. I almost want to say it's a generic Perfume song but that makes it sound like I think the song is bad. I like the song a lot but it does have that very safe Perfume sound that doesn't try much new material. The most distinct aspect of Magic of Love is the film reel sound effect at the end of the song but I actually don't think that worked very well. But overall, Magic of Love is an enjoyable song and personally, it's probably my favorite song of this era.

Well hey, it wouldn't be a Perfume song without a Perfume PV, right? And it wouldn't be an artsy Perfume PV without getting the guy who directed Fushizen na Girl and Voice, would it?

And the PV opens with an eerily similar image to the regular single cover... coincidence? I think not!

-sigh- How is it Perfume looks consistently awesome?

I hope you like artsy PVs because this PV is about to get really artsy!

So if I get a magical frame, will A-chan appear in it?

The Mona Lisa ain't got shit on Nocchi!

It's nice to know that if Kashiyuka leaves Perfume, she can always become a magician!

I have to say, I  really like Kashiyuka's hairstyle in this PV! It refreshing from her usual style!

Ehmagawd. Kashiyuka. Is. NOCCHI!? My whole life has been a lie.

I have to admit, I don't like the dance outfits quite as much as the other ones. They're not as creative.

But the dance is cool. During the first watch, it looks like a normal dance...

...but watch it again and you realize that Perfume then does the dance backwards.

Do I even have to emphasize the awesomeness of multiple Perfumes in one room!?

Seriously, this effect is just so cool to look at.

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest Kashiyuka of all?

Yeah, I gotta go with beehive!Kashiyuka. Her outfit kicks ass.

I don't think there are enough emotional outbursts to compose two A-chans.

But I think two Nocchis would be effing awesome.

Goodbye, Nocchi #2! I must leave you to spread alpaca awareness around the world!

It's cool, Nocchi #1 'cause I found CONFETTI!!!

Yay! Back to the dance! Only this time it's with CONFETTI! YEAH!

Part of me wonders if Mikiko just told Perfume to improvise whatever the hell they wanted for this part of the dance.

By the way, have I mentioned how the sets in this PV are awesome and mod and retro and how I want them so much?

Nocchi just realized how boring those dance outfits look.

You might notice how this insanely cool effect is similar to another Perfume PV...

...it's like love the world in technicolor!

Man, I wish I had the ability to dance backwards...

As Porky Pig would say: That's all, folks!

Well, it looks like the title drop arrived four minutes late!

You know, I don't think I've enjoyed screencapping a Perfume PV on the Wonderland as much as I enjoyed screencapping Magic of Love! Well, okay, Spring of Life was pretty fun to screencap... and Spice was too... well, screencapping Perfume in general is just an extremely fun experience but anyways! I have to say right now that I absolutely loved the PV for Magic of Love. I even think I liked the PV better than the actual song. Then again, a good PV also does wonders on my opinion of a song. One of the many things I love about Magic of Love is that it has something that's been rather lacking in Perfume's current PVs: COLOR! Bright, happy colors! Magic of Love has so many bright and eye-catching colors that match perfectly with the tone the song is conveying. Watching Magic of Love is like watching a rainbow come to life and in a good way too! While I liked the PVs for Spending all my time, Spring of Life, and Spice none of those PVs were very colorful. They had other visual appeals going for them but color was not one of them. The styling for Magic of Love is really what makes the PV (and to a further extent the song itself) stand out so much. I love how a lot of the set pieces and scenery for this PV give off very retro feel, as if the sets were plucked from the sixties! It's a very mod atmosphere and it's really cool! And I freaking love the outfits Perfume is wearing in this PV; well, I like the outfits they wear when they're not dancing. While the dance outfits are okay, they're pretty generic and have that same style template Perfume's been going with for several concert costumes and performance outfits. Of course, it is kind of cool that Perfume got to wear more than one outfit in this PV! Anyways, the other outfits used in the PV give off the same mod and retro vibe that the sets do and the outfits are styled like something you'd see from the sixties. It was a different look for Perfume and personally, I think it was a look that worked really well.

But what makes Magic of Love an even more awesome PV is that not only is it a bright and colorful PV, it's an artsy PV. If there's one thing that Perfume handles better than symbolic PVs, it's their more artistic PVs that place more emphasis on visuals. You know PVs like love the world, Fushizen na Girl and Voice? Those are some of Perfume's artsy PVs and they also happen to be some of their best PVs. In fact, I think Magic of Love is what happens when you combine the PVs for love the world and Voice together! The end result? One flipping awesome and interesting PV. What I always love about Perfume's artsy PVs is that they always manage to keep me intrigued through the special effects. They range from simple to awesome and it's just really neat to see it on screen. So for awhile, I'd been hoping that Perfume would do another artsy PV, especially since their last PV that you could really consider "artsy" was Nee way back in 2010. When it was announced that Kazuaki Seki, the guy who directed the PVs for Fushizen na Girl and Voice, was returning to direct the PV for Magic of Love, I got psyched. I just knew that for whatever look this guy went with, Magic of Love was going to be an artsy, eye-catching PV. And... I was right! Look, I don't think my screencaps do justice as to just how awesome the visual effects are in this PV. Seriously, even if you don't like Perfume go and watch the PV to get a better idea of what I'm talking about! What's so great about these visual effects is that they're consistently coming in and there was never a moment where I got bored watching this PV. I think my favorite visual effect was when Perfume was doubled or even multiplied; it was cool to see it unfold on screen and surreal seeing the girls "interact" with doubles of themselves! The transitions were also pretty cool, very similar to the clever transitions used in Fushizen na Girl.

Finally, there is the dance for Magic of Love. I remember when I was first watching the dance for Magic of Love in a brief snippet of the PV that was aired, I wasn't too impressed by it. I've just sort of reached this level of expectations with Perfume dances and know that they're going to look really sleek and really cool with a bunch of complicated hand motions. The girls are great dancers and Mikiko's a great choreographer so I always kind of glaze over the dances. Don't get me wrong, they look cool but as someone who knows squat about dancing, normally, I can't say much beyond, "This dance looks complicated," or "This dance looks sensual." You get what I mean. So anyways, I saw the dance, thought it looked good, and promptly forgot about it. Until a day later when someone on Tumblr pointed out that Perfume did the dance in the chorus backwards. I watched the entire PV several times when it was finally released and noticed that oh my god, Perfume was dancing backwards! I think that just about blew my mind. Backwards!? Perfume was able to learn the dance backwards!? And no, the dance isn't just rewound, Perfume took the time to learn the dance backwards and then do it backwards in the PV! I just... I never realized how skilled Perfume was at dancing until now. I knew they were good but damn, I didn't know they were this good! The fact that there is a portion of the Magic of Love dance that is backwards is extremely cool to me and is one of the many elements that stands out in the PV. Oh hell, everything in this PV stood out to me. I might as well just go ahead and say that! Really, Magic of Love has got to be one of the best Perfume PVs that I have seen because of its use of visuals, the choreography and the sheer enjoyment of seeing the girls perform on screen. The PVs color aesthetic is perfect, the outfits are perfect, the dance is perfect... what else can I say other than that Magic of Love is a near-perfect PV that you should all go and watch?

Magic of Love completely and absolutely gets 4.5 out of 5 apples from me. The song itself is nice-sounding and very energetic, but a pretty typical Perfume song. Personally, I don't mind; I like the song a lot! The PV itself is perfect though; the dance is great, the styling is great, the special effects are great. I know that technically Magic of Love isn't a "summer PV" in the traditional sense, but honestly, it's the best PV so far that I've reviewed this summer! Well, the bar's been set! Let's see if any other idol groups can possibly achieve the same level of excellence that the PV for Magic of Love has!

Crawling Away from AKB48

Would you guys find it hard to believe that I still like AKB48?

I know, right? You'd think the way I bitch left and right in every review and news post regarding the gargantuan group in general, I fucking hate their guts. But no, somehow there is still a small portion of me that still likes them . That same portion is what keeps giving me hope that somehow they'll do something that just won't disappoint me so much. I admitted that I've been on somewhat of a downward spiral regarding AKB48, especially when it comes to their musical output. Combined with the dating scandals left and right, the graduations of members I actually care about, and the rise of girls whose names I can't even remember, nowadays I feel like my opinion in AKB48 as a whole ranges from disinterest to downright irritation. Even now I feel like I write about AKB48 more as an obligation, because I know a lot of readers follow them and they've never really been a group that I've wanted to put on my Review Blacklist. And before you ask about that, it's just a very small list of idol groups that I have no plans on ever talking about and/or reviewing. Back on topic, despite the fact that every time I bring up AKB48 it's either when I'm ranting about their latest single or ranting about their latest dating scandal, I still like AKB48. And that's why it tears me up so much that I've been gaining such a rapid disinterest in their musical output and the group as a whole. I think all the hard work the girls put into the group is what's preventing from completely dropping AKB48 but beyond that, there's not much about AKB48 that lures me in anymore. Their music has been sucking lately, girls have been graduating at the rate Natsuyaki Miyabi changes her hairstyle, and I've found myself to be increasingly disgusted by management. And now as I sit here, typing this and wishing that I didn't have all these conflicting emotions, I have to ask myself "How the hell did I get here?" It's not like I just sat up in bed one day and decided to start being harsh on AKB48.

So how? How on earth did I reach this point where I'm just disgusted and/or irritated by whatever move AKB48 and/or AKS makes? Believe me, I never intended to develop this mindset with AKB48. I've even tried to keep an open mind and give them a chance. I think one of the reasons why I've always tried to give AKB48 a chance is because I know a lot of international fans don't, especially within the H!P fandom. I used to be one of those international fans too. And there's nothing wrong by the way if you personally don't like AKB48, I'm just pointing it out. I even know a lot of idol bloggers who aren't that fond of AKB48. I think knowing that has always made me try really hard to keep an open mind to AKB48 and play the devil's advocate when criticisms of the group arose. After finally getting into them, this was an idol group that I never wanted to dislike. When I first opened the Wonderland, I tried my best to stand by AKB48 and my own opinions about them and for their first few singles, I reviewed things went well. I gave a mixed-to-positive review of Give Me Five! and a pretty positive review of Manatsu no Sounds good! And then everything went downhill with Gingham Check and Maeda Atsuko's graduation. I still find it strange that I've hated how all the post-Acchan singles have sounded... coincidence? Or something more? Whatever it is, all I know is that I've fallen into this rut with AKB48 where I have the unfortunate luck of being an idol blogger that reviews their music in a time where all their music is the epitome of music I hate. You know well what I'm talking about by this point: generic music. Or at least AKB48-style generic music. If there's something that drives me berserk, it's bland songs, songs that sound as though they have no effort put into them. And for the past several months, I feel like that has been literally the only style of music AKB48 has been covering on their A-sides.

I used to think that maybe it wasn't the music that was bad. Maybe it was my own opinions. Maybe I just needed to change my attitude about these "bland songs" I hated so much and get over it and roll with everyone else. But at that moment I realized something else: these bland songs aren't the ones that got me into AKB48. No way were Chance no Juban, Ue Kara Mariko, Gingham Check, Eien Pressure, So Long!, and Sayonara Crawl aren't the kinds of songs that got me into AKB48. Oogoe Diamond, Keibetsu Shiteita Aijou, Beginner, Iiwake Maybe, those are the songs that got me into AKB48. The songs that got me into AKB48 are the ones that had heart, that had clear effort put into them whether it be in the music or the lyrics. These were the songs that stood out on their own, that had such distinct sounds and styles that I would never be able to say "It's a good song but it sounds like this song or that one." And you know what's lacking that? Sayonara Crawl. Eien Pressure. All these songs that I have been bashing with a spiked baseball bat have been bad to my ears because they fail to stand out. There is nothing that makes them interesting, not even effort. It's just one half-assed song after another that's just bland and generic enough that it won't upset anyone. Besides, with a hardcore fanbase, why put effort into your songs when they'll just go ahead and drink the Kool Aid and buy five editions of the single anyways? And I know: AKB48 is an idol group. I'm not supposed to expect mind-blowingly amazing songs from an idol group, especially one that was made for more... visual appeal than the music itself. But does that really mean the songs have to be bland? If I wanted to see the quintessential bland idol group, I'd just listen to Super Girls every day. But what got me into AKB48 was that although yes, they sang cheesy pop songs, their music still had energy. It had life to it that made the songs enjoyable no matter how much bubblegum pop was layered onto it.

So here we are again. Back at another review of another song that I have the same opinion about that I did Gingham Check, UZA, Eien Pressure, So Long... If you want to know my opinion of Sayonara Crawl just copy and paste the text from my review of Eien Pressure but just replace the words "Eien Pressure" with "Sayonara Crawl." Look, I don't even have the fire to rant about how much I can't stand Sayonara Crawl because frankly, I'm tired of doing this. I'm tired of typing up yet another PV review of an AKB48 song that I have the same hateful opinion about. Yes, it can be fun to write a rant-y review of an idol group but to write five consecutive ones? It's not fun. It's repetitive. It's depressing. And I've had enough. I don't see why I should waste my time and laptop charge writing about a group that I'm gradually losing interest in. Yet even though I want to just up and stop reviewing AKB48 content... I can't. Not yet I suppose. Maybe part of me keeps holding out because I can't stop hoping that through some miracle, whatever they release next will actually be good. But part of me knows that at the bland streak the group's been on, I highly doubt it's breaking any time soon. So I've developed a plan: if AKB48 doesn't release a single that impresses me by the end of 2013, they go on the Review Blacklist. I won't review any of their 2014 content, I probably won't even talk about them that much. You've got roughly six months to impress me, Aki-P. And even though I know you probably don't give a shit about some American teenage girl with a laptop, part of me still hopes that you'll magically get your shit together and write a song that doesn't sound like the bland piles of asinine crap you've been cranking out lately. I know you're capable of more because I've heard better from you. Whatever happened to writing songs like 10nen Zakura and Iiwake Maybe? What about Flying Get?

So uh, yeah... I have a review or something to do, right?

Right, Sayonara Crawl. Hoo boy, let me just get warmed up and prepare my usual little rant about bland songs- actually, no. At the rate I'm going I might as well re-name the blog from Nia's Wonderland to Nia's Wonderland Where She Expresses How Much She Hates Bland Songs. I swear, if I start getting some reputation as that Perfume fangirl who really hates bland songs, I'm gonna... Sorry, I'm just procrastinating writing about Sayonara Crawl because in case you haven't figured it out yet, I really hate this song. Like, I hate it more than I did Eien Pressure. But not as much as So Long! although both songs have the same problem: the energy level is dead. So Long! still manages to sound more lifeless but as a summer song, Sayonara Crawl makes summer sound like one of the most dull and unexciting seasons of the year. It lacks the excitement and energy of AKB48's past three summer songs, especially in comparison to Ponytail to Shushu and Everyday Kachuusha. Both those songs are still pretty bland but at least they have energy and distinct melodies. Sayonara Crawl just sounds like a rehash of Eien Pressure; in fact, I even think those two songs are in the same key. I think if I were to compare the past five AKB48 A-sides that I've bashed, it would look like this: UZA>Gingham Check>Eien Pressure>Sayonara Crawl>So Long! So congratulations, Sayonara Crawl. You're one song above from being the worst AKB48 of the five consecutive singles I've been disappointed with so far. I'd get you a prize but that would only encourage Aki-P to write more bland songs. Yeah, I'm not feeling Sayonara Crawl. It's a bland song and as someone who has to repeatedly express how much she hates bland songs, this song is severely out of my line of interest. It's a shame because I think Sayonara Crawl had a lot of potential to be a really awesome summer song. Then again, I felt the same about all the bland songs from AKB48 that I've ranted about. I guess I should stop being so idealistic when it comes to AKB48, huh?

Perhaps there's still hope for Sayonara Crawl though. After all, the woman who directed the Heavy Rotation and Sugar Rush PVs also directed this one. Can she possibly bring some life to this unbearably dull and generic summer song? Well, with her love for eye-popping visuals and bright colors, I sure hoped so. Still, let's see how the end-results turned out.

Now an aquarium is a pretty cool area to open the PV with.

OMG, you're right Yuko! That shark does have the same smile that I do!!

Should I prepare the Jaws theme?

Well hey, so far these aquarium shots have been really neat! Maybe this PV will be kind of-

OH GOD NEVERMIND MY EYES.

I'm sorry but those bikinis are awful. Just... EW. The flowers... the colors... BLEGH!

I just can't get over how the designers could make an effing bikini look tacky and gross.

Well, I'll just have to get over it because we have girl-on-girl fanservice to screencap!

Wow, it's like I'm looking at the Heavy Rotation close-ups.

Except with more flowers and less lingerie.

And if there were ever a Captains smackdown, I guess Sayanee would come out on top! Poor Takamina...

Ah, there's nothing more fun than running across the beach for no reason!

Oh hey, yukatas. That's actually kind of clever for a summer PV...

But who cares because now all your cotton candy are belong to Jurina!

Oh, Paruru, you're so cute when you're trying to show emotion.

Eh, I don't think that's quite how you eat cotton candy...

Well, since those yukatas don't show nearly enough body, the PV cuts back to the dreadful bikinis!

I love how in the PV half the time the girls looks like they're trying not to capsize their floaties.

You know what this PV really needs? More flowers. There clearly aren't enough!

Seriously, I think there are more flowers in Sayonara Crawl than there are in Revolutionary Girl Utena!

Poor Takamina, always getting teased by her fellow teammates!

I wish there were more shots of them swimming...

Let me rephrase that: I wish there were less suggestive shots of them swimming.

You know, the girls don't look like they're having a lot of fun in these shots...

I mean, they're smiling and everything but it looks so forced.

Honestly, these shots are a lot more boring than they should be.

What's this? Random pieces of white furniture placed in a natural setting?

I'm getting Kasuka na Kaori flashbacks!!! God, I wish I was reviewing that now instead of this...

Soon, my apprentice, shall you rule AKB48.

Takamina clearly has no idea what the fuck she's reading and Sayanee's trying to cover up her confusion as well!

Brushing your teeth on the beach? Well, I hope you don't plan on rinsing with saltwater...

Dammit, Paruru why you always gotta be trying to emote!?

Okay, I take it back: those sunglasses are the most atrocious thing in this PV.

Yuck. They look like first-grade arts and crafts projects.

Man, think of all the craft stores the producers had to invade to obtain all these flowers...

The balloons were by far the most expressive idols in the PV.

That's right! Wave goodbye to any chances of breaking Manatsu no Sounds good! sales ever again!!! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!

My, my, my, that was something. And by "something" I mean it was something that was not good. I'll admit, when I found out that Ninagawa Mika, the woman who did the PVs for Heavy Rotation and Sugar Rush was directing the PV for Sayonara Crawl, I got a little bit of a hope spot. I love both of those PVs for their bright, almost cartoonish imagery, the lush scenery, and the incorporation of a lot of eye-catching visuals. Both those PVs stand out for very different reasons (one being that one PV is ridiculously sexy while the other is not). I also liked the visuals I saw in the director's own movie, Helter Skelter which had that same look Heavy Rotation did but much more twisted and darker. Point is, I was hoping that Ninagawa would be able to put her own unique spin on the tired and done-to-death idol cliche that is the summer PV. Last year the director of Manatsu no Sounds good! managed to do so; surely someone with such a standout style of filmmaking would be able to project that onto Sayonara Crawl's PV. And in that aspect, I suppose the PV did deliver. Sayonara Crawl includes a variety of scenes beyond your simple beach shots and girl doing typical summer activities. It shows a variety of different scenes, not all of them featuring the girls in bikinis. And we'll get to those atrocious pieces of fabric in a minute. The PV also features the girls in yukatas during a nighttime beach scene where they're lighting sparklers and eating cotton candy and various scenes where they're uniform-styled white outfits ranging from close-ups to an aquarium to a daytime beach scene. The rest of the PV is devoted to the bikini shots that show the girls either in this gigantic pool or running on a beach. You kind of know what to expect if you've ever seen an AKB48 summer PV. Sayonara Crawl's PV had a lot of bright colors and felt very in the vein of Ninagawa Mika. So yay, this PV gets an okay from Nia, right? Surely she had to have enjoyed it somewhat, right?

Well, despite everything this PV had, I still found this PV to be rather underwhelming.

When I was watching the PV, I found myself to be surprisingly bored. At first the visuals were interesting but about halfway through the PV, they started to get repetitive. I actually think that's a huge problem with a lot of summer PVs; there's only so much you can do before it starts to get repetitive and cliched. My favorite summer PV from AKB48 is Everyday Kachuusha. By no means is the song too interesting (but it's a helluva lot better than the crap AKB48's been spewing these days) but the PV is what really stood out to me. Yes, it was still a summer PV but it was a summer PV with its own unique spin on it, with homages to AKB48's previous PVs. Combined with some other typical cliches, Everyday Kachuusha was entertaining for fans who enjoyed catching all the little nods and references to their past PVs. Even Manatsu no Sounds good! had a standout summer PV because of the gore and violence in certain scenes combined with the light innocence of the actual bikini scenes. And I'm not saying Manatsu was a good PV because believe me, it had some balancing issues but there were aspects of it that just grabbed me. The PV for Sayonara Crawl never really grabbed me. I think that's why I don't like Sayonara Crawl's PV that much; although it's very bright and colorful, when you boil down to everything, it's just your generic summer PV dressed up in a bunch of tacky flowers. Yeah, the imagery is very colorful and elaborate, but it just feels like a generic summer PV. And a generic summer PV isn't necessarily always bad if the girls in the PV manage to sell it. I'll say what I said in my Koi no Love Sunshine PV review: what I think makes for a good summer PV is one that gets me excited for summer. One way a PV can convey this is through the emotions that the girls express the PV; naturally, if the PV shows idols looking like they're genuinely having fun, then very likely, I'm going to get enthusiastic too. That's why I think NMB48's Nagiichi worked well as a summer PV.

In Sayonara Crawl, the girls flash smiles left and right and they smile and laugh but it doesn't feel genuine. In fact, it feels kind of forced. Of the nine or so girls who actively got a lot of screen time (and yeah, that's another problem this PV has but we'll get to that in a minute as well), only Takamina looked really truly expressive. My least favorite scenes in Sayonara Crawl were the scenes where the girls were floating in the pool because it just felt so fake. But I think I might have an idea as to why: surprisingly, it's not because the camera's focusing on fanservice but because of the floaties. Anyone who has tried to get on one of those buggers can testify how fucking hard it is to stay afloat on one of those, especially when you move around a lot. To look carefree and happy whilst trying to stay afloat on one of those things is a challenge, especially when you're also trying to look appealing. There were moments where the girls looked more strained than happy because of how they were moving around yet still trying to stay on their floaties. I feel like Sayonara Crawl is a PV more focused on the visuals and fanservice than the girls themselves; it's basically style over substance. And frankly, as someone who isn't in the demographic that watches summer PVs for the sex appeal, there's not a lot I really enjoy about this PV. Sure, the visuals are nice but the PV just moves as such a slow and lifeless pace, much like the song it accompanies. In a way, Sayonara Crawl is like a fancy cupcake topped with lavish icing and decorated with decadent sprinkles yet the cupcake itself tastes bland and insubstantial. It's a shame because I wanted Sayonara Crawl to be the kind of summer PV that got me excited about summer, the kind of PV that could even improve the song it's accompanying. But like a lot of AKB48-related things lately, it falls flat.

And don't even get me started on those god-awful flower bikinis. I never thought it was possible to botch a bikini that badly but AKB48 has proved me wrong! I guess they wanted to make the bikinis look unique but the end-result is hideous. The way the bikinis fit on the girls' bodies makes them look clunky and awkward. I know the bikini scenes from Manatsu no Sounds good! were gratuitous and unnecessary but at least the simple white bikinis of that PV actually looked nice. As you can tell from my screencap, there are a lot of flowers in Sayonara Crawl's PV so maybe they wanted to continue that theme with the flower bikinis but I personally think it's just a little too much. I do like the flower crowns though; even though they're very reminiscent of Heavy Rotation, they still look nice. I did catch a few small reference to Heavy Rotation but they're not completely in-your-face. I actually can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I like the PV for Heavy Rotation better than the PV for Sayonara Crawl. You heard me right: I like the PV with the girls prancing around in their underwear, frolicking in bathtubs and making out with each other over the summer PV with a bazillion flowers. 'Tis a strange time in the Wonderland indeed. Something you might also notice about Sayonara Crawl is that of the thirty-something girls in the Senbatsu only about nine or ten of them get a decent amount of screen time. Itano Tomomi and Shimazaki Haruka in particularly got a lot of time, but that makes sense. Tomochin's graduating and Paruru's Aki-P's new pet so I'm not surprised. Besides, Paruru looks pretty adorable in this PV being all emotionless and whatnot. I wish I could see more of Fujie Reina or Kawei Rina but I guess since they're not in regular Senbatsu, that ain't happening any time soon. So if you're favorite is, say, Kikuchi Ayaka, you'll have to look hard to spot her in this PV.

Overall, Sayonara Crawl gets two out of five apples, and believe me, that's a generous rating. The song is generic, but I guess I kind of expected it to be generic at this point. The PV is surprisingly forgettable and dull, especially since it came from the director of Heavy Rotation and Sugar Rush. I suppose if you're a perv looking for something to fap to, Sayonara Crawl's PV will suit you nicely. For me, I'm going to go stare at myself in the mirror and contemplate why I'm even a fan of AKB48 anymore. Happy summer, guys!